The eleven alphabet word itself is capable of destroying so many lives. Literally, this is the word for the strong belief that things will happen the way you expect them to. And we people are very prone to this problem. Yes, I meant it when I said it, it IS a problem – the biggest problem. I say this because I’ve seen too many different kinds of relationships die or suffer because of expectations. Having expectations changes our perspective of others. We add all our wants to them, and in turn, feelings are sidetracked. Having expectations adds an ‘If’ very silently. ‘If’ someone does things the way you expect them to, your friendship or relationship can thrive. Things become almost mechanical this way. I believe that if we have feelings for someone, we shouldn’t ‘expect’ anything but happiness for, and from, that person. No, this is not too idealistic or farfetched. All you have to do is simply stop expecting others to follow your rules, and try to respect them as the individuals they are. Think about this more clearly, and take an example. Parents often have expectations regarding how their children should stand first in class, or even about how they should take science, and then go on to become only either a doctor or an engineer. WHY? If you expect to find a rose flower on a jasmine plant, you will be disappointed. Each individual is different, so let everybody grow in their own way and enjoy the beauty of life. In another instance, when a girl gets married, she is expected to be perfect by everyone. Funnily enough, you can’t even blame them, because it’s not solely their fault that our society still lives in medieval ways. Are you familiar with the following shloka?
Karyeshu dasi, Karaneshu manthri;
Bhojeshu mata, Shayaneshu rambha;
Kshamayeshu dharithri, Roopeshu lakshmi;
Satkarma yukta, Kuladharma pathni.
How can you expect one person to be this perfect? It’s not normal. Similarly, we see employees pressured by the expectations of their bosses, sportspersons from whom everybody expects only victory and nothing else, etc., etc. The point I’m trying to make here is just that we shouldn’t crowd others with our expectations, because each one of us has our limitations, and attempting to fulfil every single one of others’ expectations leads to nothing but stress. If you must, have expectations for yourself, and demand improvement of yourself. Otherwise, expectations just burden and dampen our spirit. Feel blessed if someone cares for you, and replace emotions with expectations. We can make a difference this way, and maybe even grow a little with each passing day. Just make sure that the expectations you have for your own growth aren’t too extreme, and avoid stress for a refreshing life. Everyone is beautiful in their own way, just like every single flower is beautiful despite having different appearances. On a familiar tangent, learn from nature, and understand that everything happens in its time. I love Gulmohar trees in full bloom, and still eagerly await every spring, looking forward to enjoying the flaming red blossoms. Live and let live.
Peace and love to all.
Peace and love to all.
- Leena Prasad 🙂