Don’t just want it, try and give it too…


Mornings are super busy for homemakers and students, milkmen and newspaper boys alike. Those few moments of relaxation we do get are often accompanied with a cup of tea (not the first cup, in my case) and a fresh newspaper. I sometimes enjoy skimming through the matrimonial section. Don’t get me wrong – I’m not searching for anyone – but the criteria given for partners is almost always hilarious! Everyone seems to be looking for an ‘all in one’ product, fair and beautiful, working yet good with housework, tall and slim and whatnot. What, are you all out hoping to pick up some quality furniture at the store? Stop it. You know you don’t need all these qualities in your life partner. All you really need is compatibility. How comfortable are the two of you together? How well can you both communicate? Make sure that you both mutually respect and support each others’ dream. Seek out your shared interests. And trust. That’s about all there is to it, really.

I’ve come across girls searching for someone like Hirthik Roshan. Really now, what kind of criteria is that? Your partner’s looks aren’t going to last forever! Wouldn’t you rather have a lover with whom you can share your dreams – someone who’ll always be there to catch you when you fall?. Don’t just go for their looks, but seek out the person inside. Also, don’t see them as credit cards you can cash to keep buying you things. Respect should be mutual. Always remember that no one is perfect, and that includes you. The thing is, no one has to be perfect. All you need is that you’re perfect for each other.

Now boys, what exactly are you looking for? You want a Sunny Leon for yourself and a Nirupa Roy (all docile and submissive) for your mother, huh? That’s a near impossible combination, trust me! Therefore, don’t be so unrealistic. Even the respective actors wouldn’t do each others’ role much justice onscreen. There is someone meant for you, someone who can complete you and support you through it all. Girls are also human beings just like you are, who have worked hard, have dreams they want to fulfill, and are very, very precious to their parents. Look beyond their looks. Beauty is only skin deep. Look, in the case of marriage, she who also has the loving comfort of her home just like you do, would have left it all behind to be with you. You have the responsibility of shielding her from unwarranted abuses. If you expect her to respect your family, you better treat her family the same. Remember that if your parents are getting up in the years, so are hers, and they need her support too. If she has stayed home to take care of you and your family, respect her, because home management is one of the most underrated yet a phenomenally important task. If she wanted, she could very well have left your side to live her dreams.

And now, the most important thing is that none of you give a piece of paper (a Janamkundali) the authority to select your life partner. Relationships are a seed you both plant together, which with the right amount of time, careandlove,will grow into a sturdy tree in the shade of which you can both live. No astrologer can dictate that. So, stay blessed friends, and please don’t stop with your requests in the matrimonial section either way. We all need a good laugh. 😉 :p

                                                                     – Leena Prasad 🙂

Human

You may be rich or poor
you may be weak or strong
you may be dark or light,
short or tall, thin or stout
But hey, these things don’t matter
if others can’t feel your warmth
No one will remember
how you looked, or what you had
once you’re dead and gone
But the feelings you gave them
while you were still around
will always be remembered
       – Leena 🙂

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Abuse

This small, five letter word has the power to ruin a life. The first thing that comes to mind is physical abuse, a monstrosity in itself. But just as awful is abuse which cannot be seen. Verbal and emotional abuse leave no scars. ‘Abuse’ in any form, can utterly destroy a person.

Abuse most commonly takes the form of things like hitting a person and abusing them, and also includes things like belittling them, yelling at them, denying their existence, purpose or effort, calling them names, and even things like comparing (as seen in the case of children) them with their friends. Yes, even that is abuse. In our country, it is very common for parents to taunt their children this way; ‘Look at Sharma ji’s son! He is such a perfect boy! It’s a pity you can never be as good.’ Parents never seem to realize that, by saying this, and by showing their kids down, the they are the real losers. Maybe ‘Sharma ji’ has done a better job with parenting. But the funniest thing is, bechare Sharma ji’s kids are also not spared by their parents. Please, stop abusing kids like this, because since the time they were born to you, they have been depending on you to introduced them to the world. Their views of this world depend completely upon how they view you. Not all children are the same, but it still depends a lot on the parents. Please stop abuse, because this unseen hurt can scar them and haunt them their whole life long. In the worst case, they will learn to be like you, and this cycle will never end.

Moving on to relationships, including that of lovers, couples, teachers and students and friends, wherein all forms of abuse are common. It often happens that, just to be accepted, a person ends up living two lives – one hidden away and the other a mask. Such abuse often occurs in a pattern, because as the abuser and the victim are both closely related, any mistreatment can be followed up with an apology. No, no one can actually forget such behavior, but yes, one can choose to ignore it for a long time. But this is very destructive. Firstly, behaving badly with, or showing someone down, takes away their confidence, and they start blocking away such memories, only to be troubled by them when they are alone. Things like personal, offending comments, such as those regarding appearance, hair, clothing, family background or shortcomings, which may seem harmless at the moment, may also be a reason for torment. Not many people pay attention to such behavior. This leads victims towards depression, and some never manage to recover from this state.

So please, don’t say things to others which you wouldn’t want to hear being said to you. Making others feel small will never make you great. It only shows just how insecure you are about yourself. Just because a person doesn’t retaliate, or even laughs it off, doesn’t give you the right to abuse them. Just live and let live. Love yourself first, but make sure to love others in equal measure.
                       – Leena 🙂

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#picture credit – tumblr

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Kids

Kids ♡ Aren’t they adorable? It’s a real delight to be around them. Yes, they are our responsibility too, and that’s something we parents take seriously, sometimes a little too much. If you ask me, my journey as a mother has been really enchanting thus far. Children are the ones with whom you can be your true self. The time I’ve spent with mine is always relaxing, and I’ve learnt so much from them. If you don’t already, let me ask you to spend some time with your children; just dance with them, sing together, play games, watch movies, read interesting books together, take walks around the neighborhood, or just share silly jokes and laugh along with them. Whenever they are sad about no matter how silly a thing, be there for them. Don’t be a preacher. Life is not all about competition. If you must, let your children compete, but with themselves, so that they can try to be better than they were the day before. Help them learn, but please, don’t ever finish their homework or their projects for them! Let them do those themselves, so that they learn to manage time, and become independent and self sufficient. Help them find their way, but don’t walk it for them. They may fall, just like infants do when learning to walk for the first time, but in the same way, they’ll learn gradually on their own.  Help your kids by being with them in every walk of life. Remember to cherish the time you get to spend together, and make each moment worth remembering with a smile. Thanks, Kunal and Avantika, for always being there for me. I look forward to more beautiful days spent together with the two of you!

                                                                            – Leena 🙂 ❤