You must be thinking why I’m stating those side effects. Firstly, let me tell you what this
arranged marriage means; It starts with the parents looking for a bride or groom for their child, whom they believe is suitable for them. Just like they had once selected their child’s school, collage, and attire.
Well, you only have to bear with schools and colleges for a fixed period, and you can always get rid of your
cloths once you’re tired of them. But you can’t throw away a decision that your whole life depends
on. But you simply can’t beat the parents’ enthusiasm, can you? Anyway, the parents probably do everything out of love….or maybe for the society. I have absolutely no idea.
There, the parents have done their duty. Now, two strangers meet for the first time. Get the irony? All your life, you’re told to not talk to strangers and – BOOM! – you’re alone with one. Now, the normal way to start a relationship getting to know each other – maybe talk about your interests, dislikes, whatever. Spend a little time together and get comfortable with each other’s personalities. Then, slowly take it to the next level. But, in such marriages, you’re expected to start directly from the next level. Both partners are physically close and yet far apart emotionally. And thus, the marathon of life starts, with unlimited expectations from each other. Sometimes, such couples do fall in love and live happily ever after, whereas other times, they go on in their lives with mutual hatred. And, yeah, they spend their whole lives showing everyone how happy they are together, just for the sake of it.
Sometimes in such relationships, you may get ‘reverse love’. Like say, ‘If you respect and take care of my parents, I’ll try to like you.’ Or maybe, ‘If my parents have any problems with you, then consequently, I too shall have the same problems.’ It’s easy to forget, isn’t it?- they themselves had selected you. And in India, people still believe that “pati parmeshwar hai,” meaning your husband is equal (in status) to god. Hell now, let me know this – how can a normal person fall in love with a ‘godly’ human, huh?
Whenever I go out, I love reading people. I must say, I’ve hardly ever seen any couples engrossed with each other. Most of them simply can’t even look in the same direction.
Writing all this doesn’t mean I think that love marriages come without any hardships or their share of problems. But at least, if you’re not happy with how it turns out, you know you have yourself to blame. If things don’t work out in the case of arranged marriage however, are you supposed to blame your parents, or society? Living with your soul unhappy is a very hard thing to do. I just want to say this – please help your children select partners, do, but don’t finalize the decision for them. And after they are married, please don’t meddle with their lives. It’s much more painful to live together unhappily than to live alone.
Now, I’m going to submerge myself in a sea of music, because just thinking and writing about this topic has made me sad…