Depression

How to fight against stress or depression –
1) Do some yoga. Not only can doing so help you keep physically and mentally fit, but also help your emotional state. Complete physical and mental exercise helps a lot in dealing with emotional problems.
2) Make an effort to talk to those people whose company can put a smile on your face, rather than to those who are the reason for your stress .
3) Give yourself time to think hard about where you want to see yourself in two-to-five years. If it’s different from the direction your life is currently going in, work hard and aim towards wherever you see yourself in the future. Don’t give up without at least trying.
4) Make plans according to your goals, and take one step at a time. Give yourself the satisfaction of making an effort.
5) Find a doctor who helps you take action in a positive direction, rather than just prescribing medicines. Talk to them and target even the smallest health issues that are bothering you.
6) If you can’t stop, at least limit your interaction with people who cause your stress. Many-a-times, your near and ‘dear’ ones can also end up being the reason for your poor physical and emotional health.
7) Convince yourself that your life is worth living, just because you are the most important person in it. Don’t ever give this place to anyone else, regardless of whatever you’ve been taught about ‘putting others first’ from your childhood.
8) Stay AWAY from toxic people. The tricky bit is identifying them. We all have different kinds of people in our lives; some good, some okay, some bad. These are those whom you’re likely to feel like you’re allergic to. They are the ones who don’t help you overcome your despair, but instead encourage you to wallow in it. They won’t see the positives in you, but will always nitpick any negatives. Such people often feel better gossiping about others behind their backs and constantly putting them down, because that makes them feel better about themselves. Stay away from them.
9) Remember that it’s not other peoples’ job to like you. You yourself should be the first person to do so. Take whatever steps you need to grow as a person, and focus on  those who appreciate you for being yourself.
10) Keep your personal and professional lives separate. Give your very best in both places, but remember that things don’t always need to be be perfect, and aren’t always permanent. Time management and balancing of personal and professional duties are important factors. Stay focused and keep your calm.
11) Spend some time taking in the beauty of nature. Do the things you love to do, and make some time for activities such as walking, running, painting, singing, writing – basically anything that interests you.
12) Lastly and most importantly, count your blessings and not your woes. Treasure what you have, and don’t run after what you once had or don’t have, because what you have right now may not remain tomorrow. Make the most of it while you can.
Stay blessed, everyone, and smile only when your heart smiles with you.
                                                  – Leena 🙂
Advertisements

Detachment

Is there such a thing as the art of being attached, yet detached at the same time? If yes, then I think we should all learn it. Far too often, too much of attachment to anything or anyone leads to despair. Why so? Maybe because we never really know where to stop, and end up with ever increasing expectations. Take the example of parents and their children. When children are young, they spend most of their time with us parents. We play a great role in helping them make decisions and guiding them. Up until a certain age, this is important, even necessary. Time flies by, and they soon grow old enough to start making their own choices, independent from our own. In many cases, they get busy with work, make friends, and take their first steps into the world as adults themselves. Sometimes, it may feel as though they’ve moved on from their parents. Sometimes, we may feel heartbroken due to this. We may cope by blaming our kids for not having enough time for us anymore, and in our sadness, we may even say things we don’t mean. We really shouldn’t. Our children will always be our children, but they too need a chance to grow whenever they are ready. Eventually, we all have to learn to become detached from a few areas of life, while also making an effort to remain connected. While ensuring that our presence is always there for their security, we should simultaneously hold ourselves back from fussing and interfering excessively after a certain point. Such restraint can similarly be practiced in many of our relationships. Giving others their due space at times while holding onto our own can be helpful in many ways.

                                                           – Leena =)

Stop looking for reasons behind that smile

The mantra to being happy is to keep it simple. You’ll find happiness in the smallest of things. I’ve learned this from nature – arguably a better teacher than any person can ever be. One morning, when I sat having my tea by the window, I saw one of the sparrows who lives in the birdhouse outside playing on the grille. Her slightly odd movements attracted my attention. On closer inspection, I realized that she had only one leg, with an injured stub where the other should’ve been. Without realizing, I started keeping tabs on her from that day onwards. I then came to realize that she was never idle, nor helpless. She never expressed any kind of weakness. She’d play with her mate, preen, feed, hunt, and nest just like the other sparrows. Her chirping never failed to make me smile.
She showed me how simple happiness could be. Expectations, comparisons and cursing at fate can only give you momentary satisfaction, if any at all. A certain amount of selfishness is absolutely fine. The problem arises when one stops being able to distinguish between simply wanting something and absolutely needing it. The more one has, the more one wants. In this way, contentment and happiness simply cease to exist in one’s life.
Have you ever observed the actions of a young child? Have you ever noticed how unaffected and simple the innocent joys they see in the world are? We were all born happy. This materialistic world is what has shaped us and made a whole new person out of us. This can’t even be avoided if you wish to survive in todays day and age. I myself knew unaffected happiness when I was younger​. I vaguely remember relaxed days, always spent smiling or laughing. My teachers at school once called me ‘smiling beauty’. Then life happened, and like any other person, I too started shaping my life to fit into the ideals of society. I knew then what I know now; it didn’t make me happy. So now, I’ve learned to take notice of the things that once made me smile, once again.
The thing is, happiness is a direction, not a destination. Don’t deny yourself the things you truly love, and don’t fixate on things you don’t really care for. It may sound cliche, but a lot of the things that can give you joy are things you cannot buy.
So, keep smiling. Your smile can, perhaps, help others find theirs too.
– Leena 🙂
IMG_20161104_093716

Problems

I believe we’re all familiar with problems. A problem is very much like the flu; often unexpected, and always undesired. You don’t want to catch one, but it catches up to you anyway. Moreover, both problems and the flu stick around for quite some time before they’re fixed. The worst part is that the occurrence of both is an inevitable part of life.
What do you do when faced with a problem? Do you get flustered and annoyed when problems show up like uninvited guests? It’s quite natural if you do. Eventually, however, you are going to have to figure out how to deal with it. While it’s okay to muse over it for a while, at some point, you’ll have to move past questions like, ‘Why is it always me?’ and ‘What have I done to deserve this?’. The next step is to question what actions you can take to solve the problem. Even more important is to actually make an effort to do those things.
Let me share my experience. When I realized that I was suffering from depression, I asked my doctor for help. Rather than prescribing anti-depressants, he told me to start taking long walks. I started doing so. I realized that the hour I spent in my own company – listening to music and organizing my thoughts as I walked – really did help me deal with my problems and think up solutions. The physical exercise also helped. I realized that we are only human. We can’t always use spells and magic to make everything alright. Everything takes time, and all we can do is learn to be patient.
I also discovered other things that relax me. Do any of you play Candy Crush? It’s a good game – helps to refresh your thoughts in as little as five minutes. Even in the game, you must have noticed that, although you rarely ever get the combinations of candy that you desire, noticing unexpected combinations – even the smallest ones – often helps you win. It’s the same with life. We all have our problems, and we don’t always get what we wish for. Figuring out alternatives, fighting with the odds, and making your own way through life is what helps in defeating problems. All you really need is faith in yourself.
Nothing lasts forever, not even problems. So stay positive, and love thyself!
                                                            – Leena 🙂

50+50

A successful relationship can be called a 50/50 deal. It’s really a 100/100 one, as both parties are usually required to put all their efforts into it, and give their 100%. The ratio comes into picture when one talks about how the contribution of one side matches up with that of the other. In our journey through life, we meet multitudes of people. The essence of our relationship with each one of them is completely different. Most often, if the feelings are mutual, the effort, time and trust put into the relationship will be somewhat equal. The relationship of parents with their children, or of siblings with one another, can sometimes balance just fine even if the equation of the relation is at 40/60 or 30/70, depending on age and circumstances. This is because their bond itself is of a special kind. The most preferable professional and work-related relationships are unsurprisingly 50/50, with one receiving according to what one gives. Such clear-cut professionalism helps eradicate any chance of confusion. Once you’ve done your part, you’re free, and especially so because there aren’t any excessive emotional attachments.
There are only a few kinds of relationships which can make or break an individual in an instant, because they exist too close to the heart and demand one’s 100%. Friendships, love and marriages are ones that are usually forged intentionally. Naturally, most people try their best to give it their all. The truth, however, is that in order for such relationships to flourish, the efforts put in by both parties should not only be equal, but also constant and lasting. Balance is the key. Excuses can never be an adequate replacement for effort. You have to accept each others’ virtues and faults, both with open hearts. Being judgmental will more often than not only create more problems. No one is perfect. It is very important to accept and respect the limitations of not only others, but also of oneself. ‘Balance’ means that you receive as much as you give. Don’t ever give away so much that you leave yourself behind, because you’re only establishing in others’ minds that you come second. Stand on equal ground. No two people are same, so you can’t always be on the same page, This absolutely does not give you the power to show others to be in the wrong and to put them down. Learn how to disagree respectfully. Each one of us, as individuals, is allowed to have a personal opinion. Ego, unsurprisingly, is the greatest destroyer of any relationship. Try to become a good listener, and don’t always jump to conclusions. Good communication can make a great relationship. Above all, cherish your partners and friends, for you are the one who made them a part of your life.
The mantra is to be there through thick and thin without being taken for granted. Cruelty and harsh words will not only lower others’ opinion of you, but also your own self-respect. You get what you give. Just behave the way you want others to behave with you. Just be you.
The most important thing for any successful relationship is honesty. You must be truthful about all your thoughts, feelings and opinions concerning the relationship, and have every right to expect the other person to do the same. Don’t hold each other too tightly and obsessively is the relationship doesn’t call for it. It’s ok for there to be some space for freedom in between. It’s often even necessary. Mutual respect and understanding goes a long way.
All such relationships do not necessarily last for a lifetime. In any case, let go of the negativity and carry forward with only all those beautiful memories that you have made over the years. Don’t curse and cuss at yourself or the other party, because you are only hurting and harming yourself. Treasure yourself. Everything that has a beginning always has an end. Don’t ever hurt yourself or others because of this.
Be the light of the sunrise and the calm of the moon, for both yourself and for others.
Happy living people!!

– Leena 🙂

Letting go…

Does ‘letting go’ really exist? If it does, then I guess I can’t figure it out. People are always talking about letting go of the past and moving forward. Sure, moving forward makes sense, but can you really just ‘let go’ of your past? You were there, in flesh and blood and soul, so can you really just rip away and discard all those memories? Can you? I don’t know, but I don’t think anyone really can. It’s true that if such a situation arises wherein you start feeling suffocated and want out, then it’s a great idea to still be patient with the other party and give them a chance, because they may not wish to be in that state either. The most important thing, however, is to never ignore your own needs. If you ever feel that you are unable to take it any longer, and if you are worn out physically, emotionally, or mentally, and can’t handle it anymore, it’s ok to stop trying and move on. Moving on is difficult too. It’s possible to become habituated with the labyrinth of such circumstances, and become so numb that you remain stuck there despite knowing that it’s bad for you. But at times, you have to do it anyway. At times, it’s necessary to do it. But even so, don’t force yourself to forget your past, because you may end up forgetting some beautiful moments too. There’s no need to regret any part of your life too much. Consider why it was worth it, learn from it, and grow as an individual. Remember, even in puzzle games, although not every piece can fit at a spot, there’s always one that’s a perfect fit. You’ll find yours too! Mixing colours while painting, you must have realized that some combinations create beautiful colours, while others don’t really work out. Similarly, we can’t always gel with everyone, and that’s ok! That never necessarily makes either of you bad. So, don’t simply let go. Try moving on with confidence, positivity and grace, knowing that you’ve grown. God bless!

# It’s very important to make peace with your losses, especially the emotional ones involving departed loved one or broken friendships and relationships. It helps you to move forward free from guilt and with a happy heart and soul. Stop simply existing, and start living! Love!

– Leena Prasad 🙂